Many experts warn us cynicism and pessimism are very dangerous to our mental health and social relationship. And most of us don’t feel they are narcissistic. Rather, we tend to think that we are very optimistic and open-minded. Nonetheless, we often unconsciously start talking with negative words.
A few days ago, I wanted to check if I can wear my coat and asked my wife.
“Didn’t you bring my coat from a laundry shop?”
“Can you say that again?”
I felt sorry that I offended her by the initial thought that she missed my request. Cynicism and pessimism are not only a jargon for patients with mental illness or some people who bluntly talk their negative opinion in front of us. Most of us unconsciously think and talk like them even if the degree of pessimism is not that serious. I also made a certain and negative decision about uncertain and opportunistic cases.
To find an opportunity and develop it into a success, I have to be more positive to every chances that I face. Every thought and word is originated from the way of thought. If I find optimism from them, I could draw closer to the possibility to happen something positively. To try to think and behavior positively and avoid pessimism, I think humility and respect to others are key points. By pursuing those attitudes, I can finally watch out what I’m saying and doing before taking action and also focus on positive thinking.
If I say “This is my fault.”, I unconsciously accept the situation as my problem whether it can be improved. Self-respect is one of the most important maxims that I have to follow from this perspective. And it is also important to respect others. Sometimes I unconsciously blame others for the unexpected outcome. Also I thought it is necessary to give a candid advice to make them to know what they lack or what should be improved.
There is a guy who I worked in the same company. I’ll call him Tim. Tim has a strong desire for achieving more aggressive goals and getting more opportunities. When it comes to projects that he had to do, he was interested in what he could got from them and he made a decision of how much he would put in his energy according to his personal opportunities. That is why he often conflicted with his boss and his boss didn’t like his way of thought. He looked less confident and uninterested from any project in the team. A few days, I accidentally met him in another office. He moved to another company and looked good. He told me that he was happy because he found what he loved and could work with people who understood him. He was very motivated and strongly recognized by his work. He has changed his attitude since he has been fully respected by people around him.
If you trust someone and hope him to grow further for a career, you have to give him opportunities and guide him to do his best with his strengths rather than pointing out mistakes. Today’s lesson is to focus on bright points and to respect others with sincere humility.